Finding the Sweet Spot Between Serving Others and Self-Care

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As creatives, we are givers. We pour a lot of energy and time into the output side of work — partly because we love what we do, and partly because society rewards us for it. As creative business owners, we wear all the hats, which can give rise to a belief that if we let up at all, or if we step back to put ourselves or our own life first for a bit, things will start to fall apart.

As things get busier, it can seem less and less possible to find space for self-care the side of the energy continuum that is the input or the opportunity to receive support and nourishment yourself so that you can continue with your creative business output. This is not sustainable, and luckily, it's not the only way forward.

This is an episode for the creatives, the artists, and the entrepreneurs who find it challenging to find time for self-care, to prioritize life outside of work, or to fill your own cup when there are so many demands and responsibilities on you in the work that you do. And believe me, I have been there. And it is really important to me to share these tools and perspectives with you in this episode so that you can continue to produce because you are also able to receive.

In This Episode, We Cover:

How language influences our reality and beliefs
Embracing gray areas to foster trust and reduce stress
Introducing the term "self-steady" to support a healthy work ethic
The power of mantras and affirmations, and how to build your own
Self-awareness exercises to maintain balance and prevent burnout

Episode Summary

In this episode, Jen introduces the concept of "self-steady," a balanced state between selfish and selfless, grounded in self-trust. Discover how language shapes your beliefs and reality, and learn practical tools to maintain energy without guilt or burnout. Jen explores the limitations of the selfish/selfless binary and offers actionable steps to realign through self-awareness exercises. Perfect for creatives, this episode guides you to embrace your role as a grounded, generous creator. Join Jen to shift your mindset and cultivate a more joyful, sustainable creative journey.

Key Takeaways

The Power of Language: Understanding how the words we use shape our beliefs and reality, and how changing our language can lead to a more balanced life
Introducing Self-Steady: Embracing the concept of "self-steady" as a balanced state between selfish and selfless, promoting self-trust and groundedness
Challenging Extremes: Moving away from the binary of selfish vs. selfless to find a healthy middle ground that supports well-being
Mindset Shifts: Utilizing mindset tools like affirmations and mantras to reinforce positive beliefs and support personal growth
Holistic Self-Check-Ins: Practicing regular self-awareness exercises to maintain balance and prevent burnout
Seasonal Balance: Recognizing that balance is not a fixed point but a dynamic relationship, similar to nature's seasons of giving and receiving

Mentioned in This Episode

Book recommendation —> The Biology of Belief, by Dr. Bruce H. Lipton
Book recommendation —> When The Body Says No, by Dr. Gabor Maté
Book recommendation —> The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership
A new idea: “Self-Steady”
Mantras
Affirmations
How to create your own affirmations [TIME STAMP]
Self-Awareness Exercise [TIME STAMP]
Poetry of Flowers
The goal of awareness & relationship

Details From Sponsors:

This episode of the Called to Bloom podcast is brought to you by the Poetry of Flowers holistic online floral education. Poetry of Flowers provides you with a vivid array of insightful video tutorials, enriching resources, and tools for empowering your creative venture. Use code CALLEDTOBLOOM for 10% off at checkout.

Resources:

Explore Mentorship — deepen your floral artistry practice one-on-one

Join the Poetry of Flowers — holistic floral artistry online courses to empower your creative practice from anywhere in the world

Discover Tarot of Flowers — a gift of abundant floral wisdom for any flower-lover or seeker
Use code CALLEDTOBLOOM for 10% off your first Poetry of Flowers purchase or your first Tarot of Flowers order

Keep in Touch:

Thank you so much for being here, and for being part of this radiant community as we step deeper into our creative callings together.

If you enjoyed this episode:

I would love to hear from you! Connect with me on Instagram: @nectar_and_bloom or @calledtobloompodcast.
Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your words help other creatives and seekers like you find the show!

Episode Keywords

Creative Studio, Floral Design, Studio Evolution, Renting vs. Renovating, Mentorship, Creative Entrepreneurship, Workspace Setup, Floral Cooler, Multi-purpose Space, Creative Journey, Studio Improvements, Natural Light, Design Tips, Artistic Growth, Studio Essentials, Personal Transformation, Creative Inspiration, Workspace Flexibility, Floral Artistry, Studio Transformation

Sound Bites

"Words are powerful. Language holds our beliefs and it speaks into reality what we experience."

"Self-steady is a state of being grounded in yourself. Knowing what you need, knowing how much to give, knowing your boundaries."

"The narratives we tell ourselves reinforce the beliefs we hold that shape our reality."

"When we cultivate the ability to be self-steady, we cultivate the confidence in ourselves to know how much is too much."

"The goal is not balance as a fixed destination. The goal is relationship."

"Give generously from a full heart, receive without guilt, and remember that caring for yourself is not separate from caring for others."

"Nature doesn't bloom all year long. It moves through seasons, and so do we."

"Reframing self-care as something that supports sustainable service empowers you in the face of a challenge."

Chapters

0:00 - Introduction to Creative Giving

1:01 - Challenges of Self-Care for Creatives

1:42 - Welcome to Called to Bloom

2:42 - Mindset Shift for Balance

3:21 - The Power of Language

5:11 - Mantras and Affirmations

7:16 - Self-Care vs. Selflessness

10:28 - Introducing Self-Steady

15:28 - Check-In Exercise

19:23 - Holistic Self-Check

24:30 - Balancing Service and Self-Care

26:06 - Understanding Mantras and Affirmations

32:23 - Recap and Final Thoughts

35:35 - Conclusion and Call to Action

Full Transcript

As creatives, we are givers. We give to our clients and customers. We give to our craft. We give to our businesses. We give to our marketing. We give to our collaborators and partners. We pour a lot of energy and time into the output side of work — partly because we love what we do, and partly because society rewards us for it.

As creative business owners, we wear all the hats This can give rise to an understandable belief that if we let up at all, or if we step back to put ourselves or our own life first for a bit, things will start to fall apart.

This, however inevitable it may feel right now, is not sustainable, and luckily, it's actually not the only way forward.

And it's important to have new ways of being in your business so that you can continue to produce because you are also able to receive.

Welcome to the Called to Bloom podcast. I'm Jen Cavender, founder of Nectar and Bloom, and your host as we explore tools and holistic methods that empower you to craft an inspired career and a fulfilling creative life. I am a floral artist and educator who left an academic career to build my dream floral design studio.

Now I empower flower lovers, florists, and creative entrepreneurs like you to find your aligned path and to build your dream.

Together we go deep into topics covering creative entrepreneurship, health and well-being, sustainability, personal transformation, the art and business of working with flowers, and practices for manifesting a life you love.

If you are ready to feel inspired and empowered as you build your next aligned creative chapter, you are in the right place. Now, let's bloom.

This episode of Called to Bloom is all about a powerful and also simple mindset shift that will free you from the unsustainable and depleting pattern of overgiving or feeling guilty if you don't, and empower you into a more balanced, harmonious, and success-oriented approach to creative output and small business ownership.

It can feel like a reality right? That there isn't time or space to step away when there is so much to do.

But this is just a narrative we have been given that is perpetuated by the things that we are told, the things that we all say, and the words that we all use.

Today, I have an accessible and impactful mindset shift for you that will help you find more ease, balance, and that sweet spot between serving others and self-care. And it all starts with language.

Words are powerful. Language holds our beliefs and it speaks into reality what we experience. And we have agency in that.

The tools I'm going to share with you in this episode will help you find more ease, balance, and that sweet spot between serving others and self-care. And it all starts with something as simple as the words we use to conceptualize it.

likely know this about me already, but I am a total logophile, a word lover, and a person who reveres the power of language.

Words have a big impact. What we say aloud is a powerful act in the process of manifesting what we believe is possible for us. That's why it's important to become conscious of the narratives we tell ourselves, because they reinforce beliefs we hold that shape our reality.

I'm going to say that one again: The narratives we tell ourselves reinforce the beliefs we hold that shape our reality.

If we want to change our reality, we need to change our beliefs, which we can begin to do by changing our thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves.

One way to do that is to change the words we use that shape and perpetuate what we believe.

By the way, side note, there are so many amazing books on the science behind neuroplasticity and our ability to change our minds and realities.

One that I recommend is The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton. So throw that on your reading list if you're interested.

The power that words and language have is also why mantras and affirmations are so powerful. Saying aloud a thought or a belief you want to embody brings that intention into your reality energetically.

And it can help you reframe what you believe about yourself and what is possible for you. It can also reinforce and support a new belief that you are choosing about yourself and the reality you want to be living in your life and work. All with words, all with chosen phrases that help direct your thoughts and your beliefs.

We'll talk more about the power of mantras and affirmations and also how to create your own in just a minute, but I bring up the power that language has over our beliefs and the realities we co-create, because one of the challenges in creative business ownership regarding finding that sweet spot between output and input or service to others and self-care is embedded in the language we use.

On the one hand, when we want to make time for ourselves, we can feel like we are being selfish or honestly just fear being judged that way. On the other hand, it's common to hear people say admiringly, even, that someone who gives and gives or always puts everyone else and everything else first is selfless.

It's as though being selfish is to be avoided at all costs, while being selfless is somehow a kind of badge of honor to be pursued.

We know it's not desirable to be selfish with its connotations around not caring about others and being only centered around one's own needs, but in reality

Is it actually selfish in a negative way to take care of yourself? Since when does making space to care for yourself mean the same thing as not caring for anyone else?

It's important to challenge these kinds of implicit beliefs.

Moreover, honestly, when you think about it, who wants to be selfless? Selfless literally means without a self. Self-less.

This is a toxic and self-denying state of being that can be extremely harmful to your confidence and your physical health, not to mention your mental health as well, your emotional health, all of People who continuously deny their own needs and refuse to care for themselves, who put everyone else first over and over at their own peril will make themselves sick.

There's an insightful book about this that I recommend by Dr. Gabor Mate called "When the Body Says No." It's kind of intense, but it's fascinating. I definitely recommend it.

Essentially, when we push ourselves too far, the body will break down and tell us quite loudly that we cannot go on like this, which is definitely not desirable either. And so many of us have experienced this. I have experienced this

Where the desire to keep giving and to keep creating and to keep staying in that mode of output starts to wear you down, whether that results in an injury or a sickness or aches and pains or problems sleeping or even more intense things. And that is definitely not desirable.

If you think about it this way, selfless and selfish are both undesirable labels, and they're also polar opposites or extremes. We don't want to be either one, and we don't have to be. As a rather passionate, intense person myself with deep perfectionist roots that I'm always healing, I've learned to notice whenever my mind is giving me black and white options or opposing extremes, like it's either this or it's that.

Extremes with nothing in between are a useful indicator that we are a little stressed or on the defensive and operating from a place of fear.

This happens and it's uncomfortable and also normal and part of our innate survival mechanisms. But often when we are stressed, we kind of go on autopilot or survival mode when we aren't actually in real danger. When we are in a state of fear, we aren't thinking or operating from a place of love and abundance, which makes everything harder.

Just noticing that we are thinking in black and white extremes can be the simple shift out of feeling like it's either good or bad, pass or fail, selfless or selfish, and into a mindset with more gray area. Gray area is good, because in reality there is a lot of gray area, a lot of other options in between those extremes.

Shifting into this mindset brings you back into abundance, into trust, into knowing that you have a plethora of other options.

On this note, because you know that I love books and sharing resources with you, another great book is called "The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership," which is an amazing book for healthy mindset shifts and a more empowered way of operating in the world and working with others.

The core tool in this book is to cultivate the awareness to be able to observe whether you are, as they call it, above the line or below the line at any given moment. So

Above the line means you are feeling open, curious, and willing to learn. Below the line means you are feeling closed, defensive, and needing to be right.

The point isn't to judge yourself either way, but instead to be able to notice. If you're below the line, feeling closed, defensive, and needing to be right, you can at least observe it. And then by noticing it, you can consider shifting into more openness, curiosity, and willingness to learn.

And get back into a place where you know you have more options.

So as we begin to shift our mindset to find the sweet spot between serving others and self-care through the power of words,

I realized that we need a new term.

So what can we call being something healthy and in the middle, not selfish and not selfless? What term can we use for a balanced state of giving and receiving, of serving others and also prioritizing self-care? With a word for it, the idea becomes more real, more attainable, and more effective as a guiding light.

So the term I came up with that embodies this mindset shift that I want to share with you is self-steady. Not selfish, not selfless, but self-steady. It feels good, right? I thought about other options like self-strong or self-aligned, self-seen, self-empowered, self-calm, but none of those really captured what I wanted for us as much as self-steady.

Self-steady is a state of being grounded in yourself.

Knowing what you need, knowing how much to give, knowing your boundaries, and knowing when it's time to step back and receive. The idea of steadiness feels both stable and aware, reliable and grounded, open and also self-assured. It even feels good to say, doesn't it? Self-steady. Try saying it to yourself and see how you feel. I am self-steady. It feels expansive and stable and confident to me.

And I really like all of those things for myself and for you.

When we cultivate the ability to be self-steady, we cultivate the confidence in ourselves to know how much is too much, how much is enough, and what is right for our own health, balance, and well-being.

With it, we practice self trust and we actively show ourselves the respect that we value and take care to show others.

Having a new term for how you want to be or how things can be shifts everything by taking you out of a position of being judged, even just internally, as being selfish and empowering you away from literally losing yourself by thinking you need to be selfless and more concerned with serving the needs and desires of others than your

Instead, this new term puts you in a mindset of being capable, grounded, generous, and spacious.

Instead of worrying subconsciously about whether it's selfish or even allowed for you to make space in your busy work or outward service calendar for something nourishing or fun or relaxing for you,

Which you need for your well being and creative productivity, by the way. Instead of that, you can stand in a self steady place in yourself, and decide, like the wise and stable person you are, what feels good and balanced. Ask yourself: what would the self-steady version of you do or recommend?

In doing this, you shift out of worry over being criticized or misrepresented and into being fully capable of deciding what is balanced for you, knowing that this helps you be of better service to others and be a good steward of the gift of your own life.

As I mentioned, this one is all about mindset, and mindset will change everything. How you think impacts how you feel, and how you feel impacts what actions you take or don't take. Your actions lead to your lived results and reality.

And when it comes to your thoughts, the words you have to guide them is a powerful tool. So let's take charge of what we can in this process.

Let's guide and strengthen the mind through the words we choose to use and say about ourselves, and let's see what a big shift for the better that can make.

Now let's back up for a minute. What's wrong with serving others? Absolutely nothing. This episode is not about any drastic shift or unhealthy extreme, whether that's an extreme of putting yourself last or of putting everyone and everything else last.

Serving others is essential and central to business ownership. At its core, a business is a channel through which we contribute to society using our talents and skills in exchange for payment for the value we provide. Services and products we create to serve the needs and desires of others are what we do.

What we are working on with this mindset shift is finding a sweet spot between serving others and self-care, which means making small shifts to step into more balance. Why? Because you deserve that. You are here listening to this podcast and this episode right now in this moment for a reason.

You are here to become more of who you are and to receive more of what you are calling in.

Because you started this business to build a better life, to work in more alignment, to do something you're really good at and that you love, to serve others from your zone of genius, and to feel how your work itself, not just the income it brings in, helps you build a meaningful and fulfilling life.

with balance, what I want for you is more harmony between your business and your life. Starting a business or a creative endeavor is meant to contribute to the goodness of your life, not detract from it.

One way to know if things are getting out of balance is to do a very simple check-in with yourself. You can do this check-in exercise weekly or even daily as a small but powerful ritual to build more awareness of how in alignment or out of alignment you feel and to give you more agency with what you can do about it.

All you need for this exercise is about five to ten minutes, a quiet space to sit or go for a meditative walk, and maybe a journal and a pen if you're seated, although you can also just think through this exercise while you're on the go.

First, take a deep slow breath in and out, coming into your body and washing yourself with that amazingly relaxing magic of a deep intentional breath. Why we forget how great that feels sometimes, or how refreshing and calming it is, I will never know, but there it is. We can always remind ourselves.

Then imagine that you are sitting at a round table with the heads of each department of yourself. Okay?

At this round table with the heads of department of yourself, to your left is the department head of your body. Next to them, moving clockwise, is your department head of your mind. Beside them is your department head of your emotions, and completing the circle to your right sits the department head of your creative spirit and higher consciousness.

These are four core parts of self, and they all need to be cared for for optimal health. Now check in with each one.

Ask first, how is my body feeling? Any updates? Any needs that aren't being met? Anything you want me to know? And listen. Also, if this sounds kind of woo, it totally is, but it also totally works. When you give parts of yourself space to communicate with you and you listen,

They have things to say.

I bet even just hearing those questions, you feel a gut instinct of what your body wants to say or tell you, how it's feeling, updates it has for you, what needs it has that aren't being met, anything it wants you to know.

In this exercise, you are the benevolent higher self, capital S, who hosts everyone else, listening and appreciating the updates and issues and ideas equally.

And you as this higher self are also making decisions once you've heard from everyone at your table. You can jot down what you hear from each part of yourself if you're journaling, or you could just make a mental note of the most important or standout ones.

Once your body has finished with everything it has to say, then move to your mind. Ask your head of mind how your mind is feeling, if it has any updates for you, any needs that aren't being met, or anything else it wants you to know. What is the condition of your mind right now? What does it want or need? What does it wish you would do or not do so much?

Then continue with your emotions. Ask your head of emotions, how are you feeling emotionally? Do your emotions have any updates for you? Any needs that aren't being met? Anything else your emotions want you to know or to do or not to do? Take note as before.

And lastly, ask your creative spirit or your higher consciousness the same questions. How are you feeling creatively, spiritually, and consciously? Any updates? Any needs not being met? Anything this spiritual aspect of you wants you to know or do or bring into your life or not do.

After this brief check-in, you will have a lot of helpful insights. Trust me, when you try it, you're gonna be amazed. And the amazing thing is that you already know what you need, what feels off, what would help, what you'd like to try differently. You just need support and structure for how to access it.

This is a tool I completely invented for my own purposes and I have found to be incredibly helpful in getting clarity about how things are going, supporting me in making space to check in with myself, and to discover what specifically I need or need to change or want to try.

When we can check in with ourselves in this kind of holistic way, we eliminate so much resistance and so much noise that kicks up when parts of us are in conflict or feeling pinched or forgotten.

In other words, when parts of self are out of balance, things get noisy and distracting and uncomfortable. And it's hard to tune in and listen because you're really uncomfortable.

When your body feels neglected, it screams at you with pains or aches or digestive issues or restlessness when you're trying to sleep. Perhaps what it needs is simply a bit of stretching in the morning or after work, or space for a peaceful walk each day, or a more nourishing breakfast, or some calming breath work, or a more regular bedtime so you can get better sleep.

When your mind feels out of balance, neglected, or unattended to, it tends to feel scattered, cloudy, distracted, disappointed, or unfocused.

What it might be wanting could be as simple as a good book to read to give you some fresh inspiration or new ideas.

Maybe your mind needs less garbage news or social media polluting it. Maybe it needs a vacation, a day, or a getaway to not be on and figuring everything out.

Maybe your mind just needs five minutes of quiet daily breathing while you put your feet up the wall and relax. Five minutes. Or a minute in the garden each day to be present and immersed in nature just to feel a bit more spacious and relaxed.

When your emotional body is neglected, you can feel things like agitated, lonely, disappointed, depressed, anxious, distracted, volatile, or distant. Of course, emotions come and go constantly as we interact with and adjust to our environment and the changing experience of life within and around us all the time. But when these feelings are present or distracting,

Something is not getting support or nourishment, and it's worthwhile to know this. What you may need emotionally is a hug, a fun date or an outing with friends, a session with your therapist, or an experience in community with others like a yoga class or a dance class, or meditation circle, or any other kind of social experience that's nourishing and peaceful. We are social beings, after all, and we need one another.

When your spirit is not getting enough support or nourishment, you can feel burnt out creatively, uninspired, disconnected, empty, Or like it's all up to you, which is totally overwhelming.

What your spirit might be calling for is a ritual or a practice that gives you space to listen within. Maybe it wants room to paint and listen to music so you can immerse yourself in color and sound and channel something that is trying to come through. Maybe you need to go to a church or a temple or a place of worship.

Maybe all you need is a helpful affirmation that reminds you of the presence of something greater in life, like regularly reminding yourself it's not all up to me, or the universe conspires in my favor, or everything is happening for my greatest good, or love is always with me.

At the very least, this tool gives you a structure for a check-in with yourself, which can be incredibly useful just by taking the mystery or shapelessness out of it and giving you something manageable to move through. It will always give you useful information and it can be as quick as five to ten minutes in your mind while you go for a walk, or as in-depth as a journaling prompt when you can sit down and do a little more deep exploring.

I made up this exercise a few years ago when I was out on a jog and noticing that I felt anxious and uptight. And I decided to host these four main parts of myself: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, as a way to untangle how I was feeling and get some clarity about a productive way forward, and I always gain helpful insights and feel a lot better afterward.

I have learned the long way and the hard way that when I feel like it's most urgent to get things done from a panicky place or a stressed mindset of lack,

What I actually need most in that time is to slow down ground and get regulated.

In those moments, what it feels like is that there is an urgency to act and change the situation. But in reality, what I've learned is that it's a time to slow down and turn inward. That's how to work through it. We make much better decisions and have much more perspective when we are calm, when we have checked in with our bodies, and when we can come from a place of love and trust.

That's really the secret. Finding ways to feel calm and safe so that you can approach your work and your life from a place of trust, trust in your process, in your purpose, and in the learning experience.

From a place of love, too, knowing that you are right where you need to be and that everything is happening for your greatest good. And also from a place of abundance, knowing that all experiences are part of you getting exactly what you want and where you want to go. Trust

Love abundance feels much better and is much more effective.

Today's conversation is devoted to balancing service and self-care. And if this resonates with you, I would love to invite you into Poetry of Flowers.

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Inside you'll find self-paced courses on bouquet design, centerpieces, foam-free floral installations, weddings and events, floral business strategy, and more. All created to help you build confidence, creativity, and sustainability in your work.

You can choose the course bundle that's most aligned with where you are right now or on a topic of most interest to you, or immerse yourself in the full experience through a Poetry of Flowers Immersion Pass, which gives you access to the entire suite of courses, bonus resources, and access to our learning community.

If you are ready to deepen your floral practice while honoring your mind, soul, and body along the way,

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And as a Called to Bloom listener, you can get 10% off your Poetry of Flowers holistic online course or immersion pass with code CALDTOBLOOM, one word, at checkout. That's C-A-L-L-E-D-T-O-B-L-O-O-M one word at checkout. And now back to our episode.

Earlier in this episode, I mentioned how we can harness the power of language to change our mindset and our reality using the tools of mantras and affirmations. But you might be wanting to know what are mantras and affirmations, and how do I get one?

First, let's establish what these two language-based and belief-building tools are.

A mantra is a word or a short saying that's often spiritually oriented and is chosen to help quiet the mind and come into a more calm, inward and present place.

Examples of mantras include things like om, the yogic syllable that represents the primordial vibration of the universe. It is a centering sound to slowly make with each exhale as you breathe, and it's grounding by nature through connecting you with the creative force of existence.

In the weekly yoga class I teach, we begin and close every practice with om.

Another Sanskrit mantra is so hum. This is a mantra for acceptance that you can repeat internally as you slowly breathe. It literally means I am that I am, which embodies that soothing energy of humility and absolute acceptance.

So you breathe in, saying in your head, so, and as you exhale in your head, you say hum. So hum.

You could also use a simple mantra like "I am here now."

This is a great mantra either for walking, where you can say each syllable as you set down your next foot. I am here now. Or you can say it while breathing, saying all four words as you inhale and then all four words as you exhale. Again, speaking internally,

That way you're giving each breath four counts in I am here now and four counts out I am here now. Very grounding and calming.

Each of these mantras helps to center and simplify the active or anxious mind, helping you cultivate inner peace and stillness. From a calm place, we are able to return to creative work with more clarity and capability.

Affirmations, on the other hand, are similar to mantras, but instead of being a word or short phrase repeated to calm and focus the mind, they are a positive statement or a short affirmative sentence that reinforces a positive belief or thought pattern. Examples of affirmations are things like:

I trust myself.

I know exactly what I'm doing.

I am radiant with health and vitality.

I am worthy of everything I desire.

I trust that I am guided, or

Everything I need is within me.

One or more of these examples might really speak to you in just listening to them now. So notice that and take it with you to practice. Write it down. Say it to yourself as you brush your teeth or cook a meal or process flower stems.

Sometimes it's the affirmation that seems the most ridiculous or the least accessible to you that is the one you need the most.

You can also build your own affirmations, which can be really powerful and effective in shifting your mindset. Here's how to build your own affirmation.

First, start to pay attention to the things that the mean critical voice in your head says to you. Write them down. Then translate them into opposite positive affirmations. For example,

The fear and doubt voice in your head says, "What's the point? Everyone else is already doing it."

You can change this into a positive affirmation and a new belief to practice with something like, I have special gifts that I was created to share, or I trust my callings.

Another common fear and doubt voice statement is something like, "Everyone will hate me if I do this." You can translate this into an affirmation like, when I create from love, love returns to me tenfold.

As a second approach to creating your own affirmations, try this. Imagine a really kind, benevolent, wise older person telling you one piece of really good advice. What would they suggest to you?

You can also imagine yourself in twenty five years speaking to you now. What advice would an older and wiser you say to you now?

And a third approach is to think about a change you want to make or something you really want for yourself. Write that down as a desire, something like: I want my body to feel strong and flexible, or I want to feel energized and excited about my work.

Then rewrite that desire statement as a positive affirmation statement as though it were already true.

We need to make that leap from desire to affirmation in our beliefs in order to support shifting our subconscious beliefs and taking continuous actions that lead us in our desired direction.

Those desires can now become affirmations like: my body is strong and flexible, or my work is exciting and energizing.

Even if you don't believe it yet, even if it feels ridiculous, shifting something you desire into a positive affirmative statement that it's already here is a deeply powerful way of shifting into that reality.

Once you have your affirmation or list of affirmations created, I have one more tip for you that will help you make them more effective.

Work on your affirmation to bring it into a simple, brief, and memorable form. You want it to be easy to remember and pleasing to say. Affirmations work on shifting deeply set inner beliefs by accessing the subconscious. And the subconscious loves rhythm, rhyme, and musicality. Keep your affirmation rhythmic or musical in nature. Make it fun to say and easy to repeat.

If it feels clunky as you say it aloud, revise it a little to make it nicer to say and smoother to remember.

Having an aligned affirmation is a very simple tool that can make a powerful difference in shifting not just your mindset, but your experienced reality too. Give it a try and practice it daily for at least a few months.

They say in two weeks you will feel it, in four weeks you will see it, in eight weeks it will be part of you.

I can't wait to hear what starts to shift for the better for you.

So, as a little recap as we wrap this episode today, here are some things we have covered:

the problem that we creatives often overgive, the false binary between selfish and selfless, a new framework for finding the sweet spot between them, being self-steady, why language matters and the power of words, a practical self-awareness exercise to help you know what you need, and a tool for ongoing support in affirmations and mantras.

With all this in place, you may still be sensing one more question lingering beneath all of it. How do you know when you're out of balance?

That self-awareness exercise will really help you, but how do you know you even need to check in with yourself?

We've talked in this episode about how to get into balance, but before we close for today, I want to offer you a simple way to recognize when you've drifted away from it.

Here are a few signs and gentle indicators that you might be out of balance.
You're feeling resentful in the ways that you serve.
You're feeling exhausted as more of a norm rather than an exception.
You're feeling disconnected from creativity, joy, or curiosity.
You're constantly tending everyone else's needs or demands outside of you while being unable to answer what do I need right now?
Or you're feeling guilty whenever the idea of or the desire for rest arises.

Now, this is not at all a checklist to diagnose yourself, but instead it is a compassionate reminder to notice signals from the body and psyche that recalibration may be needed.

And if I can leave you with just one lasting tool from this episode, let it be this: The goal is not balance as a fixed destination. The goal is relationship.

Perhaps the sweet spot between serving others and self-care isn't a fixed place where we hope to arrive once and for all. Perhaps it is a relationship we tend, a conversation between the different parts of ourselves, a willingness to listen when we're being called to give, and a willingness to listen when we're being called to receive.

Nature doesn't bloom all year long. It moves through seasons, and so do we. There are seasons of flowering, seasons of fruiting, seasons of release, seasons of rest.

Likewise, there will be times when we are naturally called to give more and times when we need to receive more.

The practice achieving some perfect ratio between service and self-care. The practice is remaining in relationship with ourselves so that we can notice when an adjustment is needed.

That way, the invitation is to become more attentive, more honest, more compassionate with yourself as you learn what you need and when you need it.

Reframing self-care like this as something that supports sustainable service, rather than competes with it, empowers you in the face of a challenge that we will all encounter time and again throughout our creative lives.

Give generously from a full heart, receive without guilt, and remember that caring for yourself is not separate from caring for others. Often it is what makes that care possible.

Beautifully done. You just completed another episode of Called to Bloom. Another step forward on your creative journey. Finishing any resource that nourishes your growth and makes you feel more connected is one of the most empowering things you can do for your business and creative calling.

Now, to expand your experience, hit follow so you never miss an episode. And also, please leave a quick review. Your words are so powerful in helping other creatives like you to discover this podcast. Then head over to calledtobloompodcast.com to find show notes, resources, discount codes, and details mentioned in this episode.

If you're ready to deepen your practice with classes and immersive experiences in flowers and well-being, head over to nectarandBloomfloral.com and explore my workshops, one-on-one mentorships, poetry of flowers holistic online courses, well-being experiences, and my original Tarot of Flowers deck.

You can also find me on Instagram @nectar_and_bloom for more inspiration, tools, creativity, and like-minded community.

For now, keep blooming. The world needs what you are here to create.