Each month in my "Collect the Nectar" newsletter, I invite you to ask me anything, from flowers and floral artistry to business, health, wellbeing, entrepreneurship, writing, authenticity, branding — you name it. I select a question each month to answer and feature here, where I can share my experience and approach with you in accessible, cost-free resources that empower you forward on your creative journey. Here is one of our featured question submissions and my answer following it:
FEATURED QUESTION
"How do you find the time to slow down and recalibrate after busy work weeks? Or how did you start to shift your mindset and build down time into your schedule/routine? As a business owner the to do list never ends and sometimes it's hard to make the time to recoup when you have to go from one busy thing to the next, whether it be work related or regular human life stuff. Knowing it's important to rest doesn't necessarily make it easier to do so." — Chelsea D., Milwaukee, WI
ANSWERS FROM JEN
I find it so moving that part of your question acknowledges the reality that knowing how important rest is "doesn't necessarily make it easier to do." This is true, and it's precisely why I chose this question to feature and answer here. This feeling is so relatable to fellow creative business owners, myself included, and speaking from experience it is also something we can definitely solve.
01 — MINDSET SHFIT: WE DON'T FIND THE TIME, WE MAKE IT
My first answer might sound like tough love, but it's good medicine: the reality I learned the hard way myself is that we don't "find" time for what's important to us, we make it. We have to consciously decide that taking care of ourselves is important enough to schedule in — to protect, to prioritize, and to literally generate time in our calendars to rest and recalibrate.
So the first step is a mindset shift, which involves choosing a new belief or living a new and chosen narrative. In this new mindset, you know that your body and its needs are not a nuisance. Your body and its needs are a responsibility and your greatest gift. It can be a joy to care for the needs of the body and mind. When it comes down to it, once we are grown adults, it's entirely up to us individually to care for the gift of this body, mind, and life we have been given.
An additional mindset shift I often teach is to consider that your body is two things you rely on fully: your home for your entire life, and your creative instrument. If it is suffering, so is your quality of life and so is your creative work. Instead of thinking of time for yourself or to recuperate is "indulgent," consider self-care and balance for your body and mind as a creative entrepreneur as part of your work and success. They go together.
02 — NARROW IT DOWN, AND MAKE IT MANAGEABLE
My second tip is to take a deep breath and release perfection or outside expectation regarding all the things you "should" be doing to be healthy or practicing self-care. No one can "do it all," as in do all the things that are "good for you" or beneficial to holistic health.
I heard a great quote recently that essentially said: When you set your mind to it, you can do just about anything, but you can't do everything." I love this quote, and I share it here because we all get to choose which self-care practices and what kinds of rest and space are most meaningful and effective in our own lives. We can't do all of them, which is what often overwhelms us, but we can choose one, two, or perhaps just a few that make us feel great, and then devote ourselves to making time for just those.
For example: We all know that going to bed earlier, getting up earlier, getting some healthy movement in, eating well, staying hydrated, making time to connect with friends and family, as well as setting aside nourishing solo time are all good for you. Then there are all the other suggestions, which are literally countless — most start with the phrase, "you should" — and these could be anything from "have a 9 step skincare routine," or "drink smoothies full of greens," or "go to a weekly yoga class" or "stand on a vibrating plate for lymph drainage" or anything and everything in between. Honestly, it's overwhelming and unnecessarily so.
No one can do ALL the things, and not all of these things are actually beneficial to everyone. We all have different lives, goals, bodies, and values. We need to make what we choose to do enjoyable, aligned with what we care about personally, and manageable.
Also keep this in mind: It is better to do one thing for your health and wellbeing consistently rather than try to do ten things that you cannot sustain. This is one of the reasons I love Ayurveda — an ancient and holistic science of health — because it teaches to do just the best you can and not to stress over doing everything you could or think you should do. Stressing over being healthy adds stress, and there's no need for that.
03 — STEPS FOR BUILDING REST & BALANCE INTO YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE
Now let's get practical with how to actually build rest, recovery, and balance into your schedule as a busy creative, even when we know the to-do list literally never ends. Here are my recommended steps to implement:
- Decide on ONE restful or spacious or beneficial thing you could do that would move the needle of your health, happiness, or wellbeing the most. Would that be reserving 1 hour in the mornings for a quiet tea and journaling session or a walk in nature? Would that be going to a cross-fit class once a week? Would that be protecting one day or afternoon a week for "no plans" or a "work-free zone" where you can see friends or just relax however you like guilt-free?
- Schedule that one beneficial thing into your calendar right now. Guard it the way you would a client meeting. Take this step as a step toward actively expressing your self-worth and respect you have for yourself and everything you are doing. Plus once it's scheduled, you don't have to worry about forgetting to squeeze it in at some point, which is how it can feel when you have the entrepreneurial never-ending-to-dos.
- Actually do that restful meeting, spacious activity, class, or work-free zone, and evaluate how you feel after experiencing it. Really notice how it feels in your body and mind to have that nice experience, and immediately schedule in your next one. Change what activity or non-activity you do if you like, but keep a "restful" space booked on your calendar at least once a week, if not more.
- Start small. Choose something doable and manageable, and experience the success and pleasure of doing it. Sometimes we go nuts wanting to go from zero to taking a week-long retreat, and while that is wonderful and definitely worth doing, it's not sustainable, so we also want something small and repeatable on the calendar regularly for you.
- Seek support from an accountability buddy or a group! It can be easier to go to a wellness class or observe a restful few hours reading in the park when you have someone else to go with you or to check in with about it. Consider reaching out to another floral designer or creative entrepreneur friend to support each other in making this active shift to prioritizing weekly (if not more often) rest and balance.
- Be kind to yourself. A small change can do wonders, so like any big project, break it down into something bite-sized, and build from there. Your ability to rest and recuperate after a busy stretch is essential to your ability to stay creatively fresh, to do your best work, and to feel good and enjoy your life while doing the work you are called to do.
04 — A DEEPER LOOK: WHY REST IS NECESSARY & NON-NEGOTIABLE
Rest takes several forms, including sleep (complete rest, when the body and mind stop moving so that the body and mind can digest, process, repair, and re-energize), as well as several other restful activities, such as down time (unstructured time, when you do not have meetings or work or obligations to tend to), reflection (quiet time and space alone to think, let your mind wander, journal, or dream), and play (free time to do something enjoyable, silly, or amusing that makes you feel connected, present, and at ease).
THE IMPORTANCE OF FULL REST — SLEEP
When it comes to sleep, no matter what our grit level is or how dedicated we are to our businesses or creative work, we are still living beings. We have limits, the same way there are a finite number of hours in the day. On our planet, all of life is nourished and directed by the hours of daylight, and the hours of the night. Whether you are a morning person, more of a night owl, or even an oddly nocturnal human being, you still need sleep. Sleep is necessary to brain health as well as every single function of the body.
We can get away with a lack of sleep for a while, depending on your physical constitution, especially when we are younger, but regardless of age or body-type, a lack of sleep compromises our immunity, makes us get sick more often, makes us moody and mentally fragile, makes us feel chaotic and scattered, and generally increases stress on every level. Not sleeping, or not sleeping enough, is the #1 thing to fix.
If running your creative business is impeding your ability to sleep, or if your creative business is feeling so fragile that you can't pull away to sleep for the necessary 7-9 hours, then something definitely needs to change. I religiously sleep 8 hours, and it has done wonders for my health, mood, business, and creative output.
If you have an acute amount of time where a crisis has happened or a huge project must be finished, and some of your sleep is sacrificed, that is OK, as long as it remains a short time. When you have a big project or demand like that, be sure to schedule in space to decompress and catch up on your rest in the weeks following that abnormally big push.
THE IMPORTANCE OF ACTIVE REST — DOWN TIME, REFLECTION, & PLAY
Down time allows you to have unstructured time or space when there are no demands or obligations on you. Down time could take the shape of a walk in nature, space to read a book or watch a movie, time to doodle or create without any pressure or expectation, time to sunbathe or go for a swim or any other relaxing, spacious, nourishing activity you enjoy. Down time is especially important for creativity because without it our minds are so jam packed we don't have space to listen and hear those inner whispers or sparks of inspiration that often come when we relax. Have you ever noticed how you'll have a great idea while you're in the shower or driving?
Space to reflect can take the shape of journaling or taking a walk with no tech. It could be cooking something you love or gardening or just sitting in the park and watching the clouds. For some people, going for a drive allows them to have space to reflect. For others it takes the shape of prayer or meditation. This time is so important for your brain health and mental clarity. Think of it as giving yourself space between the noise and excitement of your work and life. Think of it as a space to open up an connect to your inner knowing, your energetic guides, or the connection you have to a higher power.
Play is one of those things as adults we can start to think we've outgrown, but in reality play is absolutely not just for children. Play is also essential to brain health and mental clarity, and it is crucial for creativity. Creativity is playful. Creativity needs room to explore, to wonder, to get curious, to try something amusing — all of which help you overcome perceived limitations, get unstuck, have more fun, and come up with some of your best ideas and work. It can't be forced. You need space to play. Play activities could be playing a game with others (boardgames, card games, outdoor yard games, sports), creating in your studio just for you (no pressure, just playing with colors, shapes, stems, gestures, and ideas), playing an instrument or singing along to a song you love, or any other activity that feels frivolous, silly, exploratory, and fun. Adding play back into your life will do wonders for your mood and quality of life too.
05 — HOW TO BREAK DOWN THE BARRIERS TO REST & RECOVERY
As creative business owners, we wear all the hats. The progress and growth of the business depend on our personal, and often singular, effort. We answer inquiries, create bids, process bookings and orders, plan and execute events and deliveries, plan workshops, gather reviews, update our sites and branding, and market, market, market. The to-do list is never ending. This can create the illusion that there isn't time for rest and self-care.
I mentioned before that we have to make time to rest and recalibrate after busy work pushes, which means we need to treat it with equal respect to the tasks and to-dos. It's kind of a beneficial mind trick, but this strategy treats making space for rest and self-care like it is an important or urgent task, just like the other ones. This can really help make sure you schedule it in and protect that time.
Another way to help shift rigidly conditioned old beliefs that there isn't time for self-care is to change your perspective, using this really simple reframe: Zoom out. Look at your life now from 10+ years from now. How do you want to feel then, in your body and mind and heart? What do you want to be SO GLAD you did now in 10 years? Then zoom out further. Imagine you are looking back at your life from your final years — how do you want to feel at the end of your life about how you chose to live your life? I know that I want to feel healthy, vibrant, strong, flexible, inspired, and connected, all my life, and when I look back at the end of my years, I want to feel fulfilled. I want to feel glad about how I treated my body, how I cared for myself, and how much I enjoyed my work and my life — and I imagine your feel similarly.
Remember, personalize the rest and self-care you build into your routine. Don't feel like you need to do everything or what others say you "should" do. Choose 1-3 things to start that would feel restful and revitalizing for you, and put them in your calendar. When you have a big event week or work push, schedule something extra nourishing — like a massage or an afternoon to lounge under a tree in a park and read — for the day afterword. It can be small, but small shifts made consistently build real and meaningful change.
I hope this gives you some deeply nourishing food for thought and encouragement to shift into a more aligned mindset and to enjoy creating more space in your life for rest, play, and balance. After all, what is the point of any of it, a creative career and all the hard work, if it isn't to nourish and support a beautiful, thriving life?
If you'd like to submit a question for me to answer here on the Journal, just join my newsletter. Each month inside my "Collect The Nectar" newsletter, I include a link to submit your question. If your question is selected, you also receive a $25 gift card to the Nectar & Bloom shop for a transformative floral experience of your choice!
You can also learn more in my Poetry of Flowers holistic floral artistry courses and my mentorships and all-access membership. I'm excited to support your dream and the beautiful creative work you are here to bring into the world.
Keep blooming,
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Photography captured by Mandy Ford.